I was done.

At least, I thought I was.

After years of pouring out my heart (months, now daily), sharing what God was teaching me, wrestling with Scripture, and pressing “publish”, something inside me wanted to stop… not because I didn’t love writing, but because I was tired. Physically, emotionally, even creatively… I felt like I had reached the end of what I could offer.

So I prayed what I thought was a final prayer over this blog, “Lord, if it’s time to close this chapter, I’m okay with that. I’ve given what I could. I’m ready to let it go.”

And honestly, there was a strange peace at first, a quietness, a little relief… like when you’ve been holding something heavy and finally set it down… but then something started to stir. And it wouldn’t leave me alone. (Maybe part of that came from some of your messages saying you missed these morning devotions. We’ve built a little community here.)

To be honest, at first, I tried to ignore it. I thought, “Maybe I’m just feeling guilty or nostalgic or maybe even…proud.” 😔

But then the verses started coming, then the ideas, the promptings, the moments in prayer when I would say, “Speak, Lord,” and He’d answer with something that needed to be written.

I am writing Scripture reflections on our church website three days a week. But here, I’m sharing my heart. I thought I was done with this blog.

I tried to move on, but the Holy Spirit has whispered, “Not yet.”

I don’t say that lightly. I’ve learned to test those whispers. I’ve learned to wait, but this isn’t just my inner writer talking. This was the nudging of the Comforter and the Challenger, the One who equips us to do things beyond our capacity.

He reminded me of several things over the past couple weeks:

1. It was never about daily commitment. I committed during Lent to post daily and then just kept it up, but I may not get to 7 days a week every week.

2. Obedience sometimes looks like showing up, even when you feel invisible. There were days I felt like the time and effort was for nothing and I was going to give it up. Then somehow I would receive multiple messages about people using these devotions daily. So…

3. Someone’s breakthrough might be waiting on my surrender to write again.

4. Honestly, this is most important. God reminded me that the words weren’t mine to begin with. I’m just the vessel. These words come from my time with God each morning. They are words given to my heart by our loving Father. Often, the words are for me and to be shared with others, but sometimes I have no idea who they are for, but the Spirit knows.

So here I am, writing again, not because I have it all figured out, not because it’s easy, but because I can’t not write when the Spirit says, “Go.”

To the writer, teacher, or leader out there who feels like giving up, pause before you quit.

Lay it down if you need to, but don’t be surprised if He asks you to pick it back up again, because sometimes, giving up isn’t the end of the road, it’s the moment we remember who gave us the words in the first place.

When He writes the story… it’s never really over.