Hoping to share the love, joy, and grace I have received in my own life.

Freedom Through Christ

on July 8, 2017

They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity – for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” ~2 Peter 2:19

The world promises all kinds of things.  This example of a world’s promise for me is one that I haven’t shared much of.  Following Trevor’s death, although I was desperate for relief from the intense grief of burying my son, I denied taking prescription medication that was offered to me to help me “get through the coming days.”  I knew that not only would medication not take away the pain (it may mask it, but whenever I decided to stop medicating, I would have to face reality) but also that I needed and even wanted to feel the pain.  The grief was the only connection I had to Trevor.  I had memories, but without his physical presence here, the way I felt my son was through the crushing heartache.  I was smart enough to know there wasn’t a magic pill that could cure me, but did end up taking one sleeping pill on the second day to just finally get some sleep.

However, in the coming days, (I can’t tell you the exact amount of time, it may have been 6 months) I began to medicate myself with alcohol.  It started with a glass of wine.  Then became several glasses of wine.  The more I drank, I believed, helped to numb the pain that I was feeling.  After a considerable amount of time and an embarrassing display of stupidity, I came to the realization that I wasn’t at all benefiting from the alcohol.  Although alcohol can seem to be a stimulant after one glass of wine, drinking a bottle of wine causes it to become a depressant.  It took several months, but I realized that the alcohol was causing more pain than it was relieving.  I blame no one, but myself, for the horrible choices I was making, but many people encouraged this crazy train ride.

The world promises us things that look like freedom.  For me it was a freedom from the emotional and physical pain caused by grief.  I learned that the world and everything in it cannot free me from that.  Only God can do that.  The more I dug into the Bible and strengthened my relationship with Jesus, the more I realized that things of this world are NEVER going to relieve my pain of Trevor’s death, but God can certainly help me learn how to manage it.  He does.  Everyday I am reminded that the pains and struggles of this earth are temporary.  A life with a real relationship with Jesus gives me a happiness that cannot come from anything else.  It is an indescribable joy that I want everyone to experience.

1 Corinthians 6:12 says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial.  “I have the right to do anything” – but I will not be mastered by anything.

I am nowhere near where I want to be, but God is working in and through me.  I will always make mistakes and even some bad choices, but I know that the only way to redemption is through my relationship with Him.  We do have freedom to make our own choices, especially in our country.  We are a free people.  Just because we can doesn’t mean we should.  I can’t say I was a slave to alcohol.  I worked a full time job and took care of my family while I medicated my pain with wine.  I see now though that I was a slave to what my body wanted and when Jesus freed me from that, I knew that I needed to serve Him.  Joy is filling my life.  I still have grief.  I still drink a glass (or two) of wine.  I love life and love to have fun with family and friends.  My relationship with God comes first because that is the way I get through everything else in this world.


One response to “Freedom Through Christ

  1. Lorrie Nesemeier says:

    Wow Dana. Perfect!

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