Yesterday, I wrote about relationship struggles that seem to keep coming up. When I repeatedly see, hear, or think about something, I pray about whatever the topic is and usually discern a way that I need to respond to that need. This time, I believe looking to Scripture and sharing what I find there might help others who are struggling with the same pattern in a relationship over and over with no result. So, if you need to refer to yesterday’s thoughts, you can do that first.

When we feel worn down by another person’s repeated choices (that affect us), the first thing we need to remember is that we are not their Savior. In our closest relationships, love often looks like deep concern. We see the destructive choices someone we care about is making, how they’re hurting themselves, others, and sometimes us. Our instinct is to jump in, fix it, and do whatever it takes to bring them back to a better path. But here’s the hard truth: you are not their Savior. Jesus is.

Ezekiel 36:26 says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” This reminds us that true transformation comes from God alone. Only God can remove a heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. That means even your most sincere efforts (your love, your advice, your warnings) can’t bring about lasting heart change on their own. You are called to reflect Christ, not replace Him.

When someone we love seems far from God, the fear for their salvation can feel overwhelming, too. We worry, plead, and sometimes panic, wondering what will happen if they never turn to Christ. But even in this most sacred concern, we have to remember that salvation is the Lord’s work. God sees them, loves them more than we do, and is always working, even when we can’t see it (more on this on Friday). Our role is to pray without ceasing, to live faithfully, and to trust that God’s grace can reach the deepest darkness. No one is ever too far for God’s hand to save.

Trying to be someone’s Savior will leave you weary, anxious, and discouraged. But trusting Jesus with their heart frees you to love without additional stress and struggle. Jesus is more present, more powerful, and more patient than we could ever be.

So today, take a deep breath and let this truth settle into your soul: You are not their Savior. Jesus is.