We all probably have that person in our life…(maybe sometimes we’ve been that person…) the one who answers questions like you’ve offended them just by speaking. The one who grumbles when greeted, complains when helped, and seems to carry a storm cloud into every room they enter. You brace yourself every time you’re around them… maybe it’s a family member, a coworker, a neighbor, or sometimes even someone at church?

It’s tempting to avoid them or to snap back with our own agitation. After all, kindness isn’t always met with kindness. But Scripture gently reminds us: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18). “Everyone”…that includes the grouchy.

Jesus didn’t just teach love. He modeled it. He reached out to the hurting, the hardened, the outcast, and even those who misunderstood and mistreated Him. He didn’t wait for others to be kind first. He was kindness. He looked past the surface of behavior and saw the wounds underneath.

That grouchy person in your life? They may be carrying burdens you can’t see: pain, insecurity, fear, or deep loneliness can all show up as gruffness. As Christians, we’re not called to fix them, but we are called to reflect Christ to them.

So what can we do?

Pray for them. Ask God to soften their heart (and ours). Pray for opportunities to show love without expecting a return.

Respond with gentleness. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that a gentle word can actually defuse anger, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” It may not work overnight, but consistency matters.

Set boundaries with grace. Loving someone doesn’t mean letting them walk all over you. Let me say that again. Loving someone doesn’t mean letting them walk all over you, but even boundaries can be communicated in kindness.

Remember who you’re representing. When we respond in love to someone who we may feel doesn’t “deserve” it, we’re showing them a glimpse of God’s grace, the same grace freely given to us.

Bottom line…it’s not easy. Sometimes it’s downright frustrating. But in those moments, we have to remember that our goal isn’t just to make it through the interaction with this seemingly difficult person. It’s to be a vessel of God’s love in it. And maybe, one day, our kindness will be the very thing that breaks through their hardness.