danacox31

Hoping to share the love, joy, and grace I have received in my own life.

Thankful

on October 31, 2015

Is it just me or is everyone too busy?  I used to be the type of person who always seemed to need permission to relax.  There was always so much to do that unless “Enjoy Life” was written on my calendar, I didn’t have time to do it.  Do you ever feel that way?  Has the path you are walking in this life become a treacherous one?  I have found that when I get into that “running on empty” mode, I need to be still and listen to what God has to say to me and to feel His never-ending love for me.

Before Trevor died my life was jam packed.  I was working a stressful full-time job, involved in community theater and serving on the board for that group, helping lead a 4-H group, teaching confirmation for our church, and I was a full-time student in a Master’s program.  Life was crazy.  I thought that I could do it all, but something was missing.  My relationship with God was good, but losing my perspective on life caused me to lose my perspective on God.  Life was really overwhelming back then, but I didn’t realize it until Trevor died.  All of the sudden, life as I knew it was never going to be the same.  Immediately my world stopped spinning.  I was unsure where to go and what to do.  After the funeral, when everyone returned to work and school, I was completely lost. I was certain that I could not survive in this life without one of my children.  The first task brought to mind was to search for why this happened.  I am not sure that I will ever find the answer to that question, but in looking for that, I found something that would change my life even more.

When my dad’s friend shared the book “Why” by Adam Hamilton with Dad and I, my relationship with God changed.  I believed in God all of my life.  As I was growing up, I went to church alone.  I performed in church skits, sang solos, and was confirmed without much involvement from anyone in my family, but God was always there and working in my life.  He protected me and got me through some terrible times.  As I was growing in my faith I thought I understood and knew everything about God.  I thought I could just live my life and He would always be there when I needed Him, but that is where my relationship with Him stopped (on my end.)  Of course that isn’t where His relationship with me ended.  When Trevor died I was desperately searching for answers.  Although I don’t believe I will ever find the answers to why he died or what really happened that afternoon, I have found answers to other questions that I didn’t even know I had.  Trevor’s life and death has taught me more than I ever expected to learn in this lifetime.  I have learned that physical problems are not the only ones with spiritual answers.

Nearly a year ago I started taking 30 minutes each morning for prayer and devotion.  That time is extremely important to me and if I wake up too late and can’t take that time with God, my day doesn’t seem to go as well as planned.  So many times the I devotion that I read in the morning comes into play during that day.  God is still working in my life.  Even though I thought I would give up on Him, He never gave up on me.  When life starts to get too busy and I start feeling that familiar overwhelming feeling, I have learned that I need to relax.  I need to take some time for myself, time with my husband, time with my girls, time with my friends, or time with Trevor’s memory.  Most importantly I need to listen to God.  He will provide the rest I need.  My relationship with Him is not what it used to be.  My son opened my eyes and my heart to revive my relationship with God.  Because of Trevor, I have hope.  I have never-ending love.  I have faith.  Those are gifts given to me by my son.  They are gifts that I should have shared with him, but Trevor shared them with me.  Trevor was God’s gift to me.  He is missed every day and loved beyond measure.

How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?~ I Thessalonians 3:9

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4 responses to “Thankful

  1. Marty says:

    I am just beginning a real relationship with God, so this really speaks to me. Thank you once again Dana for sharing all you have been though and all you have gained. God Bless you.

  2. Kathy Thomas says:

    Again you have written something that has hit home with me. I feel so inspired by your writings!.I need to start my relationship with God again. It does indeed make a difference in the day and in our lives. Thank you again Dana for sharing your life and deepest feelings with us. God bless you and your family.

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